[Well, I actually sent the following email to the Royal Household but you get the idea.]

Hello,

I am visiting London this Saturday.  It will be my fourth visit to London, I will be flying from Aberdeen (where I live) and staying the night.  I wanted to get the Sleeper Train but it was cheaper to fly!  Can you believe that?  Well, I suppose that’s what happens when you leave things to the last minute.

I was wondering if it would be possible for me to stay over (sleep-over, if you prefer) at Buckingham Palace on Saturday night (25th June)?  The last time I visited London I stayed in Kings Cross which was quite nice but I ate some bad prawns.  When I say I ate some bad prawns I didn’t get ill, but they had the black line in them which I believe is their poo tract – at least that’s what the narrator on Come Dine With Me is always saying!

So yes, I’d really like to stay at Buckingham Palace.  I got my photo taken there last time and it seemed lovely.  Also, I am a people person so I wouldn’t mind the crowds and I could even do some waving on the Queen’s behalf.

Please confirm that I can stay as soon as possible so I can tell my family!

Regards,
Lewis